Do You Have Places of Healing In Your Life?

I just asked my daughter Baby Bub that question. She said she didn’t know and it was kind of a weird question. But before she said it was kind of a weird question she said, “I don’t know, I just hang out with my friends, or with the kids from my church, or with my youth pastor at his house with his wife and kids.” At the age of 19, even though she is not quite aware that she has them, she has people, places and things that are safe for her. Healing places where she can be herself, learn about herself, have good, safe fun and blossom into the amazing young woman she is. At 19! I’m so happy for her and proud of that fact because it took me much, much longer to be where she is now.

The first time I recognized a place of healing as such was during my very first Narcotics Anonymous meeting 18 years ago. I was early for the meeting so I sat in one of the chairs in the circle. More and more women came into the room, hugging and greeting each other like old friends. I sat there feeling very much like an outsider, uncomfortable, scared and miserable to my core. Then a woman walked in, came over to me and said, “Hi, my name is Ellie.” She reached down and hugged me. I felt so welcomed, connected and suddenly a part of the group. Another lady handed me a reading called ‘Why Are We Here?’ and I accepted it. Although I didn’t know it because this was my first meeting, they all open with readings about the program. The leader of the meeting (the same one who handed me the reading) asked someone to read ‘Why Are We Here’, so I said, “My name is Tammi and I’m an Addict.” and I started reading about why we were there. I started reading about my life and what lead me to that meeting, that moment in time. It was too much, I could not finish reading and broke into sobs. I was absolutely horrified at my uncontrollable display of emotion. No one in my life ever liked when I was emotional. NO ONE! But instead of feeling censure, impatience or awkwardness from the group, I felt quiet acceptance, patience, and empathy. The woman next to me reached over and started gently rubbing the small of my back while I struggled to pull myself together. They just waited patiently for me to stop crying. No one demanded the reading from me to say they’d finish it. There was a little baby on the floor, probably six months or so on her belly in the middle of the circle. She suddenly let out quite a loud baby fart and the whole room erupted into laughter, including me. This helped me finally get my sobs under control and I finished the reading. After the readings, there is time set aside for any addict celebrating various lengths of recovery. A woman named Christine celebrated a four-year anniversary and she dedicated her token to me, the newcomer! I was so touched and amazed by her speech. It was the first time in my life that I’d been in a place that provided such unconditional love, acceptance, and support. It felt like coming home, a home I never dreamed existed and didn’t even know I needed. That feeling more than anything else kept me coming back to meetings and sticking with recovery long after the reality of life without drugs and alcohol set in. So I was thirty before I found my first place of healing.

Since I stayed in recovery, I learned who, where and what was healing for me and what was not. Over the years, the more I learned who I was and the woman I was growing into, I instinctively sought out healing places. Some I found by divine providence in my efforts to help or support others. Some I discovered by being open and willing to take and follow up on suggestions. The important thing is that I had the heart and mind to recognize them as such.

So what are my other healing places? Let’s see, we covered 12 step meetings.  I see a licensed Marriage & Family therapist every other week and she’s phenomenal. I started taking yoga classes at her suggestion about a month ago and it has been a wonderfully unexpected healing place! Yoga has given me a safe environment to challenge me physically, to uplift me emotionally and spiritually,  and to provide me with mental clarity.  I have a friend who gives massages out of her home. She and her husband built a lovely, soothing, peaceful room that truly provides the perfect space for massage body work! The people in my life that create healing places just by the simple connection of talking on the phone or hanging out are my sponsor/spiritual advisor and a few long time close friends.

I’ve created my bedroom into a quiet healing place for sleeping, reading, writing, listening to music, for praying and meditating. No television in my bedroom, sorry- not sorry. Believe it or not, I’m also making my Facebook page as healing as possible for myself and others. I like and follow pages that are spiritual, loving, encouraging, uplifting and provide hope, inspiration and connection. This floods my newsfeed with amazing posts that I can re-post for others to see. I can’t control what my friends post, but I can minimize or block exposures that are negative, unkind, hateful and divisive.

I think the most important healing place I am discovering and creating is within myself. This space inside of me where I’m not allowed to be an asshole to myself. A space where I build my strength, courage, love and light to share with others. A place of growing authenticity inside myself that instinctively seeks out people, places and things that nourish my spirit and soul. I hope you can say that you have such people, places or things in your life that heal and bring you back to center, that celebrate who you are. If not, don’t be afraid to find them or seek them out. They are there for you when you are ready!