What Are We Attracting Or Drawn To?

This week I started back to walking outside on my afternoon breaks since the weather has finally cooled here in Southern California (HALLELUJAH)! I love those walks and talks with my co-workers and missed them terribly during the extended hot humid months. We talk about all manner of personal things that are not necessarily for general office discussion and consumption. The talk turned to the fact that I’ve been in therapy for nearly two years and how far I’ve come in so many ways since then. I told them how touched and happy I was that my Yoga teacher was excited when I told her I would be participating in the studio’s training certification for teachers after the first of the year. She was genuinely pleased that she was going to be training me! Apparently she had hoped I would be interested when they announced the certification program earlier and was delighted that it had taken root with me so quickly.

My co-worker pointed out that I seem to be surrounded with amazing, supportive people. I realized that was true. But I pointed out it wasn’t always the case, even in sobriety, because I used to be so closed off from people. It’s been since I’ve steadily committed to being fully present and living from my heart that I’m attracting or drawn to many good people and situations. I think I’ve shared here before that the reason I got a therapist to begin with two years ago is for an issue with my middle child and me. Well, there was one session involving my son and me before he went to live in Northern California. The therapist asked me if I wanted to continue seeing her since I had five more free sessions through the Employee Assistance Program and she noticed some things that came up for me in that session with my son. I was willing and while the work has felt heavy, tedious and monotonous at times, it has brought me to a really great place. I had a session with her today. She was also extremely pleased and marveled at the fact that I’d only been attending yoga classes for three months and it’s led me to become a yoga teacher! All because I was open and willing to follow through on a suggestion from her to try a yoga class because I was complaining of low back pain.

Looking back at the evolution of my life in the past few years, it’s been a process of growth, intention, choice, and grace. Actually it goes back even further but I’m going to focus on the most recent time. My spiritual advisor says everything, absolutely everything that happens to us is a journey leading us to our heart. I’m finding it to be true now and most especially in hindsight. Past relationships where I’ve led with my heart and had it crushed, made me stronger. It’s taught me to continually be who I am, assert who I am and even celebrate who I am. There has been a great deal of fear, pain and tears to work through. Coming out of the other side of the growth, intention and choice has brought me true grace born of clarity and accountability. A grace that sustains me in times of joy, times of laughter, connection or times of pain, times of betrayal and suffering. I hope what I attract or am drawn to is what God calls forth for me. It feels that way most times.