Laugh, Cry, Feast: The Alchemy & Evolution of Writing in the Rain Forest

Here is what I can tell you about what happened with a group of writers in general and with me specifically. We arrived on the island from different points and different times on Thursday. There was a settling in at our respective Airbnb houses for those who got in early enough, then a late dinner at our host, Gail Armand’s home nestled into the rainforest of Volcano. Her main house is a cathedral of wooden floors, high ceilings and large picture windows in every room that brings the surrounding jungle inside. The property boasts an amazing koi pond, an outdoor pavilion, and a large, quirky outdoor bathroom. It was there in Gail’s home that we came together as 11 individual women writers, including our facilitator Beth Bornstein-Dunnington. It was there that we received our writing prompts and went off separately to discover, delve into, unearth, reveal our stories in the form of memories. Prompted memories transmuted to stories of betrayal, love, loss, courage, humor, hope, darkness, transgressions of this life or a transition from a past life into the triumph of the present one. Imagine a sacred circle of writers holding space for each other as we read aloud our stories and deeply listen in the speaking back of them. The alchemy of 11 becoming one in our shared laughter, tears, and empathy. Before, during and after the immersion of our words and the worlds they create, we feasted. Nourishing our bodies and souls with delicious food, local and organic from the luscious rainforest: dragonfruit, bananas, melons, starfruit, oranges, poke, ahi, crackers, salad, rice, shrimp, bagels, bread, croissants, avocados, broccoli, and so much more. Each meal beautifully prepared and presented in an exquisitely set table in front of a large picture window that brought the jungle inside with us. The rhythm of laughter, tears, and feasting bringing us together, nourishing us, replenishing us, fueling us to go ever deeper, ever inward for our stories, for ourselves, for the group. One morning we wrote in view of the Kilauea Caldera (crater) in Volcano National Park, then went back to Gail’s to read and listen to each other. In the midst of that were all the ways we react or respond to the unexpected deep emotions of the story or unanticipated aspects of the retreat. The splintering off in the heat of the moment, the sting of unmet or unrealistic expectations. But always there is the story and the process of writing, coming together in the circle that pulls us back to each other. A tried and true process facilitating our evolution. Because the writing is why we came. Retreating from the world to access or create new pathways inward to ourselves in order to bring forth our stories. By the final day, the writing and reading and speaking back facilitated by the last prompt, we were loopy, punchy and bonded in a way that was as elemental and primal as the jungle that encircled us. The honoring in the union of our final yoga class together that began and ended with such shared hilarity!

As for what I took away? It was a process of uncovering and discovering more of what was inside. A gathering and solidifying the truth of my growth and my gifts. At the beginning of this year, instead of any resolutions, there was a commitment to accept, honor and live from exactly where I was and where my life was. Not a striving for goals or accomplishments, but resolving to just be. I believe I was able to do that for the most part because that was the intention I spoke aloud and wrote as a record. On that retreat, in the Hawaiian rainforest, I understood that I am a Writer and this was one of the roles I was born to be in this lifetime. There was an opportunity to have one on one interaction and connection with Beth, who is convinced my writing and story have a greater, inevitable purpose in the world. It’s not the first time she expressed such a sentiment, but it’s the first time that I didn’t mentally turn away from it. And while I have not fully embraced it, I am content to take it in on her faith for now and do the writing and work that is in front of me. The work of this blog and other opportunities that came my way as a result of my written Facebook posts, of all things. There was also the wonder and joy of the rainforest for me. I reveled in the rain, the humidity, the mist, and the chill even! The lush foliage, the exotic birdsong during the day and the frogs that sounded like whistling at night. The feeling of writing in an outdoor pavilion as the Hawaiian sky opened up to pour her sacred tears to the jungle floor. The feeling of walking through the rain as we trekked from the pavilion back to the house or from the house to the car. The sound of it on the roof as I lay snuggled in my bed with the delicious knowledge that I didn’t have to be anywhere and could just enjoy that experience. Feeling the rain instead of worrying about getting wet. Falling in love with the sound of the wind soughing through the dense jungle, it sounds like a waterfall except its a literal windfall through the trees. The biggest thing I’m taking away is all of those little things. Or the bonding with my housemates over the inspiration cards we drew the first two nights together. Cards we read aloud to each other and kept under our pillows to sleep on at night. Heidi, Victoria, Vibha, and Stephanie. Getting to know the other writers better, Nancy, Darlene, Laurel, Mary (our Grace Goddess), Gail and our beloved Bethie.

The most important thing I’m taking away is the resolution that I am going back next year. The island, a volcanic rainforest which seeps into you with its chill, dampness, with its incredible food, culture, and people.