Aspire To Love Your Light

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. — A Return to Love: Reflection on the Principles of “A Course In Miracles”, by Marianne Williamson

My friend Laura sent this poem to me in an email almost exactly three years ago. She and another friend went to lunch that day. They were discussing how they needed to value themselves and learn to love themselves. They talked about how hard it was for everyone and they’d need to work at it. This is where I came into the conversation, our mutual friend felt like I loved myself and admired me for that. Laura wrote she thought the above poem applied to me, the last line especially. The email made me cry, of course. Laura couldn’t have known how much this poem already meant to me or that every time I read or hear it read aloud, I identify so deeply with the first parts of the poem. And I aspire to the rest of it with every fiber of my being. She couldn’t have known that I’ve admired the quality of authenticity in those closest to me, which unconsciously gives me permission to do the same. I remember telling my younger sister, Michelle, this very thing almost 10 years ago. That just being around her and seeing how comfortable she is with herself made me a little more ok with being me. At that time in my life 10 years ago, it was a huge thing.

The reason I write about this tonight is because my spiritual advisor gave me an assignment this week, that is really a carryover from last week because she wants me to watch or notice the same things. Remember my Mission for my work and life? To communicate, facilitate and inspire healthy meaningful connection through spirituality. Which I believe working as a Life Coach, Yoga Teacher, and a Writer will help me do. Help people connect to themselves and others in healthy, meaningful ways. My spiritual advisor wants me to continue to practice mindfulness/presence, be grateful and above all try to notice all the ways I am already communicating, facilitating and inspiring others right now. She bets that there are many instances.

You see, after the high of completing my yoga challenge, treating myself to a Sound Healing Bath and Rosco’s Chicken and Waffles, I started to tumble into a space of resistance and negativity. This manifested in a variety of ways, all of which I discussed with my advisor. What came out of it was how much I am still afraid of just how bright my light might be inside. But she is right. I have quite a few friends of late that have told me how inspiring my life is to them. That makes me uncomfortable sometimes. Why is it that others see the good, the great, the light in us before we allow ourselves to know it, to feel it, to embrace it? My friend Laura is right. It is hard to value ourselves and learn to love ourselves. We have to work at it. I’ve been doing it for close to 20 years now and I’ve definitely made progress. I suspect I’m closer to loving and valuing myself more than I realize. I bet you all are too.