The Last Weekend: Slowing Down to Gear Up

This feels like my last truly free weekend for a few months with my second garage sale scheduled for next weekend and my 200Hour Yoga Teacher Training start the following week. Thank God it’s a 3-day Holiday weekend as well. In typical “Tammi” fashion, I started to make all manner of plans to fill up the weekend which involved traveling all over San Diego county and quite a bit of cooking in the kitchen. San Diego is a large county and while I’m slowly but determinedly getting back into the habit of cooking regularly, I’m not there yet. Then a funny thing happened this week, actually a couple of things, maybe not so funny happened to slow me down and give me pause.

The first thing to happen was my job starting getting to me again, in an energy-draining, exasperating way. It’s been awhile since I’ve felt this way and I’d forgotten how upsetting it can be. I couldn’t tell if it was due to their continued implementation of new procedures and practices that feel inefficient and ineffective in some cases or if it’s because I’m finally getting close to beginning my yoga teacher training, an important part of my plan for expanding my heart-centered life. Some of the issues at work feel stupid and bush league, but they truly impede our ability to accomplish what we are expected to do. On a double-edged sword note, my boss went on vacation July 1-10th but since she is such a passive-aggressive, micro-managing, over-thinking, and controlling, but pathologically nice person- she made work a living hell before she left Thursday afternoon. I could go on and on, but I won’t.

The second thing was my brakes started emitting a disturbingly tense metal on metal grinding sound Wednesday morning on the way to work. Now y’all know I’m saving and fundraising for YTT so of course, something like this would come up. I’d previously planned to put my car in the shop for an oil change and brake check on the 14th or 15th, which is when my yoga training begins. My mechanic is across the street from my yoga studio. I love that about living in my small town! Thursday I managed to shift my work hours around and get my car in for Tony, my mechanic to check them out to see if they are safe to drive on until his next available appointment, which is not until July 11th. It turns out my back brakes are the issue and they are still under warranty (YAAY, happy dance!!!). He says my car is safe to drive but got me an earlier appointment next Thursday to fix it at no charge!

My home studio’s 30-day yoga challenge for June wrapped up and I didn’t end as well as I started. I just sort of petered out with work & my car stressing me out. When I got home I just chilled on the couch in front of the tv instead of rolling out my mat. To top it off, I was so focused and stressed Thursday about getting to work early to leave early to get my car checked, then relieved it wouldn’t cost me anything that I completely spaced and forgot my therapy appointment with my kick-ass therapist! Let me repeat that, I forgot my appointment with my therapist! She texted me at 6:11pm asking if she messed up our appointments. Our standing appointment is every other Thursday 6pm to 7pm! FUCK… We ended up having a telephone session for slightly less time than a face to face one.

I don’t know about you guys, but I felt like God and the U(niverse) were giving me a message to slow down. It’s too stressful to drive a car down to the beach this weekend because it sounds like metal on metal every time I touch my brakes. And it gets worse the more I drive it. I don’t care if Tony says it sounds horrible but it’s safe. When I am so stressed that I “check out” and opt NOT to practice yoga AND forget a standing appointment with my kick-ass therapist, it’s time to pause. It’s time to rest, restore and reflect.  Facebook, my favorite time-suck, showed me memories from last year. One year ago today was my first full day in my new place. There were photos of the public rooms with furniture and boxes. I was reminded of how far I’ve come since last year. I hadn’t started publishing my blog yet. I hadn’t been to my first yoga class yet either. Both the blogging and the yoga have expanded my heart and my world, inward and outward. There is no telling what the coming year will bring. But this weekend, what feels like my last free weekend for a while, I’m going to slow down. I’m going to stick close to home. I’m going to “putz” around locally. I wish everyone a Happy and Safe 4th of July weekend!