My Mouth Wrote A Check And My Ass is Desperately Trying to Cash It!

I have an old friend of more than 25 years who was fond of saying, ” Now don’t let yo mouth write a check yo ASS can’t cash!” stock-photo-a-male-hand-filling-out-the-amount-on-a-cheque-151167116

Thus, I sit here late night blogging at my computer desk after just putting freshly washed sheets on my bed. After mopping my dining room/living room and finally putting down my new cranberry area rug to “pull the dining room decor together”. My hands and the room smells like Fabuloso with a faint whiff of Gain detergent. I’m so friggin exhausted right now that I hope this blog has a point when I post it tomorrow morning because this is all I got.

Let’s back it up a few weeks so some of this will make sense. My Avon lady, Linda, works at my job and I was on my way to go pay her for an order she’d delivered earlier. I was also going on break so my girlfriend, Karina asked me to grab a Pampered Chef catalog from Linda to bring back to her. It seems my Avon lady was having a Pampered Chef party. I got to her desk, paid her and remembered the catalog. I sat down in the break room and started thumbing through it, all the while thinking to myself, Pampered Chef is way too expensive for me to buy. Especially after I’d just moved into my new place last month. As I went through that damn catalog, I was surprised to realize I already had A LOT of their smaller, economical and extremely useful products. Karina came up to the break room with another friend, Lydia,  so I relinquished the catalog to her. We started discussing all the great items in the catalog, which I said were just too rich for my blood currently. Lydia said she wanted to order a lot of stuff. Then Karina suggested that I book a Pampered Chef party so I could get steep discounts and some free products. Lydia chimed in right away to say, she would hold off ordering from Linda if I was going to book a party. I hemmed, I hawed, I hedged, totally noncommittal with no intentions of booking a PC party! Karina kept saying I could pass a catalog around at work AND have a home party for my friends where I lived… or maybe that was me musing out loud, I can’t remember. All I know is the idea had taken root and was slowing blooming in my mind. We trooped back down to our department where we all sit near each other. Karina’s cubicle mates were curious about the Pampered Chef catalog. They asked who was having the party and she told them Linda was, but Tammi was thinking of booking a party so they may want to order from me. REALLY??? I swear I’d been noncommittal, I swear! So then there was office “discussion” with everyone encouraging me. My cubicle mate, Kristen, used to sell it and she said she needed to replace her old ice cream scooper and could place an order from my party because they were the best. I caved and sent Linda an email asking her to put me in touch with her consultant. Later that afternoon I was texting with the Pampered Chef consultant. Yes, she was willing to come to my town (which is quite a ways away) to do an in-home party and cooking demonstration. A date was locked in, she emailed me a link with instructions and I got two extra catalogs from Linda to pass around the office…. In case you haven’t figured it out, THIS IS THE CHECK my mouth wrote. I passed the catalog to my co-workers at work and I sent out a message in a closed women’s Facebook page for the town where I live. The response was positive and favorable at work and on Facebook!

I must interject to say this was two weeks ago. My new apartment still was not completely decorated or put together, but I blithely assumed, cavalierly planned to get all that done the weekend before the party. No problem, right? HA! You guys read my blog a couple of weeks ago “The Best Laid Plans”… It’s now 1:30 am and my bedroom is a moderate disaster although the public rooms are finished. Baby Bub’s room requires heavy equipment and therefore, will be barricaded for the party. No joke.

My consultant will arrive at 4:30 this afternoon to set up a few “workstations” because she will be having my party guests cooking the main dish, Lemon Pepper Artichoke Pasta, and the dessert, Angel Food Strawberry Trifle. My job was to buy all the ingredients and I did after work yesterday. I still often wonder, who the hell hijacked my life. IMG_0916Who is this popular, beloved social butterfly that is willing to keep extending herself, stretching her boundaries, obliterating her comfort zones? For fucks sake man, I’m BLOGGING about my LIFE, and I don’t remember when I’ve ever felt more alive or completely present! As exhausted as I am, though recently fortified with some leftover spaghetti sauce with spaghetti squash, I’m not really panicking over the fact that I will have 8-10 friends in my house for a party. That’s a conservative estimate, the number of actual guests may be higher. The catalog order total from work is so high that I think I might be my Pampered Chef consultant’s new best friend. She makes a point, repeatedly, when we text or email each other to tell me how amazed she is by me. Hopefully combined with my home party orders I will be looking at some serious free product and steep discounts!

Maybe my ass isn’t so desperate about cashing this particular “check”. I mean, it won’t go off exactly as I planned, but what the fuck ever does. I’m starting to think the real price of cashing this check is opening my home and my life to so many, who have loved and supported me all along. I never, ever used to want anyone to see where I lived or how I lived. I was so insecure and terrified, certain I would be found lacking or wanting in everyone’s eyes. The truth is I judged myself so very harshly. What I love about this blogging process is when I start writing on a topic or subject, what it ends up being is usually something deeper and different from what it started as. Perhaps it wasn’t my mouth writing that check after all, but my Higher Self. The Divine within knowing that I no longer judge myself the way I used to and understanding that my friends never did or would.

4 thoughts on “My Mouth Wrote A Check And My Ass is Desperately Trying to Cash It!

  1. How I love to see you grow. You have come such a long, long way since I have known you. Your inner strength has blossomed,you are being freed of you’re fears. My how you have started to become a woman of you’re beliefs in your heart and soul,,, such a lovely transformation,,,,,,, my love to you my dear friend,,,,,,

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