This was a question posed by Ellie Hodges:: Counsellor & Lived Experience Practitioner on her Facebook page earlier this month. The next question was ” And what is the lesson or learning in it if you do?” She proposed that lessons lived and gained are better teachers than the letting go of dead weight in our lives. Ellie further explained shifting focus on what can be gained or learned from letting go is a bigger reward than getting weighed down with the act of letting go and caught up in what we don’t want.
I got what she was offering and recommending, but couldn’t specifically figure how to apply it to myself. But I did comment that I liked the concept of shifting focus to what it is we gain or hope to gain. She replied back and asked me to let her know I go about it in practice. I told her it was swimming around in my head and I was looking for ways to implement this concept. She invited me to send her an email if I wanted to explore a bit more. This is what I love about this woman. She is another Gracebook angel who reaches back when I reach out. Here is what I emailed her:
I would let go of my fear of the next level…
It’s been creeping up on me for a couple of months now and seeping into the four “rooms” or aspects of my life: mental, physical, spiritual and emotional. I could go on and on about what the next level for me is, but that is not the point. The point is we are nearly here and I am self-sabotaging, turning away from spiritual practices that feed and sustain me. There is research to be done, decisions made, financial aspects to be figured out. BLAH!!!! It feels like I’m back in a place of procrastination, self-sabotage and not being capable of accomplishing goals. Like I am all talk and nothing will come of my plans.
So when I read your Facebook post about shifting the focus from letting go, I felt a tiniest bit of peace(?)/hope(?) where I lived and breathed. Like I need to sit with this and figure out a way to do this with what feels like a quiet, insidious all-consuming fear. (It’s not, but it feels that way much of the time).
What shall I focus on? Could it be looking forward to continuing to grow, expand into the larger heart centered life my Higher Power is calling me to live? Could I start to hope or anticipate feeling more alive, focused and present as I continue to journey home to my true self? Can I look forward with curiosity to how it will feel to put energy and passion into a life of my choosing finally and not one I kind of fell into?
These are the thoughts swimming around in my head.
Her response was full of encouragement. She encouraged me to name my fear and not let it stop me. She encouraged me to honour the fear and the message it is sending me. To know what truth remains authentic no matter what, even if my fear became a reality. To remember my values, my hopes, my dreams and my why. She showed me I already had the answers in the email I posted to her. And she asked questions. Questions that forced me to go deeper into myself to shift focus on what I have to gain by letting go. Ultimately she told me I deserve this life I am persistently Called to. Actually, she said I freaking deserve it.
“Honour the fear but see the possibilities of that, not the limits. Fear is a message for what we want most.” — Ellie Hodges:: Counsellor & Lived Experience Practitioner
You guys should definitely check out this woman’s page and website. This exchange with her went a long way towards moving me out of my fear and into solutions. In my next blog, I will follow her advice to name my fears and look for the reward or lesson to gain from letting them go.