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Disengaging Auto Pilot, Surprisingly NOT A Bumpy Ride… So Far

plane-50893__180This post was written just under a month ago by hand in a notebook. It was a great day of gratitude, new shoes, and yoga! The morning began with day 2 of Oprah and Deepak’s 21-day meditation experience, Manifesting Grace Through Gratitude. It was 20 minutes of silently repeating a Sanskrit mantra “Kripa hum” today, or ” I am divine grace” with the centering thought “All good things bring gratitude.” I was no stranger to prayer and meditation as I had been semi-consistent with the practice over the last 10 years. But this specific meditation experience was helping too!

I currently work in a high pressure, multi-tasking production oriented cubicle environment. The kind that can truly drain your energy and beat down your spirit- if you let it. As you can imagine, my fellow pod people aka co-workers are somewhat amused if not mildly dismissive or mocking about my positive attitude resulting from those gratitude meditations (GRATITUDE MEDS!) and it was only day 2! It’s not like I became Suzy Sunshine, but I complained way less. I even caught myself (or co-workers pointed out my slips into bitterness), then I’d repeat my mantra. It caused chuckles, but it made me smile and kept the edge off my day, which was huge. For lunch that day some of my fellow female pod people (co-workers!) went to DSW Designer Shoe Warehouse because I needed shoes for a wedding reception coming up that weekend. For those uninitiated with this absolute shoe haven, it’s nirvana! I found some fantastic summer sandals and wedges, all on sale and super cute. Check out the photo below. I love shoe shopping because no matter how much you weigh you can always buy shoes that fit and look fantastic!!! Four pairs for $119.00,  I even picked up some Clarks flip flops for  my daughter, Baby Bub. I only bought her a pair so she can stay the hell out of mine! Girlfriend is brutal on flip flops and I love my Clarks!  shoes

After work, I rushed home because my intention was to try my first Yoga class on a recommendation from my therapist. I’ve done some beginning yoga using a DVD on my own in my home. I’ve shied away from actual classes because, as I mentioned in my first blog, I’m a fluffy girl. When it came to the thought of attending a yoga class, I was a fluffy self-conscious girl! I used to be an avid hiker who was a good 40lbs lighter once upon a time, but I’d really let myself go when it came to my weight and physical activity. My recent move had brought home the reality of my sedentary lifestyle. When the move was all over, my back was killing me, especially my low back/hip area. My therapist suggested I try a local yoga studio that had specific classes on hip work. Apparently we humans hold stress, negative emotions, and “old stuff” in our hip/low back area and there are yoga classes which can help release all of that. I contacted the studio and told them what my therapist suggested. They recommended a moon yoga class and a yin class with some great price specials for beginning students. My first class was on a Tuesday evening. It was the moon yoga and it was women only. They were so welcoming and inclusive. I felt comfortable in my double sports bra, oversized tank top, and yoga capris. It was almost exactly what every other woman was wearing too. The stretches were slow and steady. I could follow along without feeling awkward or like I couldn’t keep up with the class. My sweaty boobs tried to suffocate me a few times, but I knew how to wrestle my girls into submission. I felt so relaxed afterward, not too sore, but more importantly, I was completely comfortable with my body. My beautiful fluffy body!

Later that evening I had a healthy dinner of leftovers after class. While I checked out Facebook I came across a great post on You Are Not Stuck by Becky Vollmer (you totally need to check out her Facebook & Instagram pages). She didn’t get chosen as a speaker after auditioning for a TEDx talk. I clicked on the Youtube link to her to watch her three-minute audition and it was on point! She talked about how to facilitate the catalyst for your own change. She said to get your life off autopilot takes two things: intention and choices. I recognized the truth in her words because those two things had already been fueling the catalyst to change my own life. The fact that I was sitting at my dining room table writing this blog instead of laying on my couch zoning out on tv was a testament to that catalyst. Since I’d moved into my new place two weeks ago (six weeks as of this actual typing now) and the cable/internet wi-fi was set up, I’ve yet to watch tv. My brand new 43″ Vizio flat screen Smart tv. This was unprecedented and still is, but clearly indicative of my intention to change my life. My intentions lead me to make different choices which brought me here as I continue to disengage the autopilot and take the controls with God as my co-pilot.

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