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#BYOB: How Does Your Brave Show Up?

13My hope for you is the same hope for myself. That you, YOU, learn to be ok with however your brave shows up. My brave manifests in a variety of ways, but my three main courses of action are baby steps, Cha-cha slide or bold leaps. I have to be honest though, I’m not much of a leaper, bold or otherwise 90% of the time. My normal tendency is to baby step with a little Cha-cha slide to mix things up. I’ve worked hard on accepting this about myself. Truly I have since this is how I move through my fear and how I deal with change. Although the Cha-cha slide looks and feels a lot like being stuck or stagnant.

It’s a process and goes something like this… I begin feeling a low grade, background kind of dissatisfaction, pain or discomfort about someone or some situation that was previously fine or all good. I ignore or deny what I’m feeling or seeing for a while, expecting things or the person to go back to the way it was. Yet it doesn’t and leads to thoughts of change, just thoughts at this point. As I experience more dissatisfaction, pain or discomfort, it pushes me to the point of voicing complaints to anyone and everyone. After complaining (or even whining) about it I start threatening to make a change. Just threats and complaints, mind you! Inevitably the dissatisfaction, pain and discomfort is unbearable  to the point a DECISION gets made, an INTENTION is declared (some type of leap?)… Any of this sound familiar? Well if not, come along for the ride through my process cause now I’m starting to cook with some grease here! There’s a sense of relief. A decision is on the table and I start verbalizing a plan, maybe throw a TIMELINE out there. It feels great, empowering, energizing. So again I tell anyone and everybody. Ah but then reality sets in (hello Cha-cha slide!). How am I going to accomplish my intention, my goal? How exactly “Ms. I’ve-Made-A-Declaration” are we going to get this done? Coming hard on reality’s heels is of course fear.

Now I don’t know about you guys but fear or rather my reaction to fear is to contract within myself, isolate and shut down. Which leaves me alone with my head- running on fear, doubt and insecurity. Thus giving birth to feelings of inadequacy and incompetence. I can dwell in this dark depressive fear induced funk for quite some time, although, thank God, not nearly as long as I used to. In fact, I’m afraid I used to actually live and operate my life from this place but that’s a story for another blog. But guess what I finally learned over the years and eventually kicks into my consciousness? Feelings. Aren’t. Facts. Seriously, they’re not! And I can only wallow, stew and/or isolate for so long. So what happens next? Something else I learned and tend to forget. I finally remember to invite GOD into the process! (What a concept, right?) I reach out to my amazing friends and confidants that I’d been previously withdrawn from. The safe ones, you know? I get open and honest about what’s going on in my deliciously deluded yet divine mind. Small subtle shifts away from my dark delusions of insignificance that lead to baby steps into the light of hope, truth and possibilities.

Always, always, ALWAYS during these baby step phases God/Life/Universe more than meets me halfway because I am moving towards my intentions. To reiterate what this post is about, my normal tendency is to baby step with a little Cha-cha slide when dealing with fear and change. This is more than OK because baby steps and Cha-cha slides are still movement. And movement is life.

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