• Aspire To Love Your Light

    sky-437690__180 (1)Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. — A Return to Love: Reflection on the Principles of “A Course In Miracles”, by Marianne Williamson

    My friend Laura sent this poem to me in an email almost exactly three years ago. She and another friend went to lunch that day. They were discussing how they needed to value themselves and learn to love themselves. They talked about how hard it was for everyone and they’d need to work at it. This is where I came into the conversation, our mutual friend felt like I loved myself and admired me for that. Laura wrote she thought the above poem applied to me, the last line especially. The email made me cry, of course. Laura couldn’t have known how much this poem already meant to me or that every time I read or hear it read aloud, I identify so deeply with the first parts of the poem. And I aspire to the rest of it with every fiber of my being. She couldn’t have known that I’ve admired the quality of authenticity in those closest to me, which unconsciously gives me permission to do the same. I remember telling my younger sister, Michelle, this very thing almost 10 years ago. That just being around her and seeing how comfortable she is with herself made me a little more ok with being me. At that time in my life 10 years ago, it was a huge thing.

    The reason I write about this tonight is because my spiritual advisor gave me an assignment this week, that is really a carryover from last week because she wants me to watch or notice the same things. Remember my Mission for my work and life? To communicate, facilitate and inspire healthy meaningful connection through spirituality. Which I believe working as a Life Coach, Yoga Teacher, and a Writer will help me do. Help people connect to themselves and others in healthy, meaningful ways. My spiritual advisor wants me to continue to practice mindfulness/presence, be grateful and above all try to notice all the ways I am already communicating, facilitating and inspiring others right now. She bets that there are many instances.alive-927077__180

    You see, after the high of completing my yoga challenge, treating myself to a Sound Healing Bath and Rosco’s Chicken and Waffles, I started to tumble into a space of resistance and negativity. This manifested in a variety of ways, all of which I discussed with my advisor. What came out of it was how much I am still afraid of just how bright my light might be inside. But she is right. I have quite a few friends of late that have told me how inspiring my life is to them. That makes me uncomfortable sometimes. Why is it that others see the good, the great, the light in us before we allow ourselves to know it, to feel it, to embrace it? My friend Laura is right. It is hard to value ourselves and learn to love ourselves. We have to work at it. I’ve been doing it for close to 20 years now and I’ve definitely made progress. I suspect I’m closer to loving and valuing myself more than I realize. I bet you all are too.butterflies-1053544__180

  • 31 Days Down. On To A-Z!

    practice-615657__180It may seem redundant to write about my yoga challenge since I posted about it daily from Day 3 but I think it’s important for me to recognize just what it’s done for me. The challenge was facilitated by my home studio, Bright Yoga, for the month of January. Before then, I had been attending Yin yoga classes twice a week fairly consistently since August of last year. I want to repeat that for you and myself. I had been attending yoga classes twice a week since August of last year. As of today, February 1st, I’ve developed a bonafide yoga practice! The teachers at my studio would often encourage us to practice yoga at home or develop a home practice and it was definitely something I wanted to do. I just didn’t feel confident enough in my ability to remember enough asanas (poses) or  in my ability to execute them outside of a studio where I could alway look to the teacher or the next student.

    Truth be told, and this is something I did confess to in a prior blog, I didn’t intend to do the challenge. I had been upset and mildly resentful about a misunderstanding of just when I was to start yoga teacher training. However, I had just wrapped up a Yoga Manifestation Retreat in Ojai on New Years Day with Jen Pastiloff. That was January 1st and we definitely did some yoga that morning before closing circle. I’d also discovered or uncovered my intention for 2016 was to be open to what’s presented or offered or to allow Life to unfold as it presents itself. January 1st was a Friday. Back home the next day, I headed to my home studio because I normally attend the Saturday 9:30 am Yin yoga class. My teacher, Tracy, made an announcement about the 31-day challenge for January and offered the suggestion of practicing some yoga at home if we couldn’t get to the studio every day. She said for our home practice we could do some breathing, meditation and a few gentle stretches for 10-15 minutes. The studio offered extra classes so there would be some available every day of the week as well. I thought to myself that I could breathe, meditate and stretch for 10-15 minutes. And it just so happened to work out that I had done yoga every day of January so far. The next day, Sunday, after a meeting in the park, I busted out my yoga mat under a tree and got busy. It was pretty darn cool and I didn’t have any problem remembering a few asanas or executing them! I practiced yoga by firelight several times and even once practiced a little in the shower. 12510313_10208741884446734_5771353309514741510_n10405511_10208646633345516_5139855274784452374_n (1)

    Back to recognizing what a daily practice of yoga has done for me. It immediately made me realize I would NOT have been mentally or physically prepared for yoga teacher training after the first of the year. I am much better prepared and I will continue to prepare myself for training in the Spring. My strength, endurance, flexibility, and balance have improved a lot. I’ve been introduced to and I am learning Vinyasa yoga, which is a faster flow and more strenuous style. I’ve gotten to know more of the wonderful other students at Bright Yoga because I took different classes. They were all so wonderfully helpful and encouraging. I’ve learned I am capable of recreating a safe, challenging space for myself at home using my yoga practice, just as Bright Yoga does for me when I practice there. Seriously, my day 29 home practice was absolutely transformative. I am more committed, determined and directed as ever to practice yoga personally and professionally. My goal is to continue strengthening my yoga asana practice and read more on the other seven limbs of yoga!

    Now on to Mindful Living A-Z for the month of February. I created a closed group for the women who’ve signed up so far. Who am I???  Stay tuned for what practicing Mindfulness will do.

    NAMASTE