I’m gaining a lot of insight from the A-Z Mindful Living series with Ellie Hodges. She’s up to M for Meditation, but I haven’t read that one yet. So far there have been mindful exercises and suggested practices for Awareness, Breathe, Compassion, Embodied Experience, Flow, Grounded, Honour, Interdependence, Journey, Kindred, and Less. The daily emails are accompanied by Ellie’s written experiences with each word/practice in her personal life and evolution. She asks us to post our thoughts or experiences with each word/practice in our closed Facebook page. I have been very open and consistent in providing my thoughts, insights and experiences and she gives a lot of good feedback or encouragement. I’m getting a lot out of this and I’m enjoying the process but one of the unexpected and unforeseen consequences is how exhausting it is expending energy being mindful and present so much of the time. I was talking to my spiritual advisor tonight and she asked me what being more mindful has meant for me. In retelling my experiences to her, I started realizing how tiring it is to be mindful and present in the ways suggested by this series. I’m feeling things more intensely, I’m more aware of so much that would either go unnoticed or I just ignored. My responses are from a more thoughtful, deliberate place inside of me as well. I told her it’s only in remembering just how I unconsciously existed through my life before that I get why I’m so exhausted now. This is some serious work. Worthwhile and uncomfortable yet rewarding, but work nonetheless. It’s also a skill set that will be essential in carrying out my Work and Life Mission. As with any skill, it will take continued practice for it to develop and be useful. Nor will it always be exhausting as it becomes a regular practice for me personally and professionally.
Another situation that’s come up for me concerns my anticipated yoga teacher training. I reached out to a resource I’ve been corresponding with who co-founded and helps run an international yoga school. She is also a Life Coach and we’ve been exchanging emails every month or so. I recently asked for her opinion on teacher training programs as I have some questions and concerns. She gave me some extremely helpful and clarifying information and direction. She wrote that she was sure I have enough business background to recognize some of the points and issues she wrote about. She ended with instructing me to do my research and use my gut. I was taken aback by two things. One, she assumed I had a strong business background and intuition, which is another word for “use my gut”. Two, I wasn’t entirely sure or confident in my business background or intuition. Which is a little ridiculous in some ways, but also something for me to look at further developing. As those are also needed skills for my new professions.
All of this continues to give me more confidence in God’s timing in how the Universe unfolds. This is all part of the process, my process, and evolution into who God is calling me to be. When I feel myself getting discouraged, frustrated or resistant I remember the intention I set for myself in Ojai for 2016. To be Open and Allowing… In this case for gearing up.