Sometime about mid May of this year I decided to do something different. Sally, the owner of a local boutique called Isis Fuller Figure Fashion issued a challenge via video on Facebook to women of all shapes and sizes to take a picture of themselves every day. We were to post the selfie for 20 days straight with #LoveYourSelfie and #HowBigIsYourBrave2015 to all social media (fb/ig/twitter). The premise was to accept who we were regardless of size, shape, with or without make-up. To make a difference in how society perceives women. You are enough. You are perfectly you. Sally told us to invite friends to be a part of the challenge and that we would be amazed at the positive feedback, responses we’d get from our friends and family.

I, myself was just coming out of a fear induced depressive funk and was willing to try something new. I was nervous and a little bit afraid because I’m a fluffy girl, which is my softer, easier way of saying I’m a plus-sized 48 year old woman. But I prefer fluffy girl, so I’m going with that. I did as Sally suggested and re-posted her video to my Facebook page with an open invitation to join me. I had three takers! I thought and hoped there might be more friends willing but we four were the perfect amount it turns out. I’m no stranger to posting the occasional selfie, but I’ve never done it on this scale… everyday for 20 days??? On day one I deliberately took a picture after waking up, in my jammies. No make-up with my sleeping scarf still on my head. Of course I took several and chose the one I could live with out in social media. After many, many deep breaths (practically hyperventilating) I posted it.

Sally was right. The responses were incredibly kind and complimentary, Comments ranged from how smooth my skin was to how pretty I was. Plus there was curiosity about the hashtags, because apparently not all my friends read/view all my posts! On day four I was feeling brave enough to accept a bigger challenge from Jennifer Pastiloff (check her out on Facebook, Instagram @jenniferpastiloff) She’s fucking phenomenal. Her video was a challenge to accept and love your body. Make a 3-5 minute video talking about what you love about your body, post it to her page and she might make it available for viewing. Let me first say that Jennifer Pastiloff had 73K followers at that time, so I never in a million years believed my video would make the cut. Secondly, my video was only 2 minutes and 20 seconds long. But I filmed myself using my phone before I could change my mind. After viewing it once or twice I posted it to her page before I talked myself out of it. Well guess what? My video was the first one she posted!!!! I seriously couldn’t wrap my brain around it and then came all the comments. Every single one was positive and encouraging. EVERY ONE!!! Over 3200 people viewed it over the next couple of days that it was up on her site. And since I posted it from my phone, all of my friends and family had access to it. GOOD LORD. The daily selfie challenge and love your body video were some seriously bold moves for me and the caring, kind responses blew me away.

Halfway through the challenge I posted this: “Day 10 and the halfway point. I had no idea something as simple as posting a selfie every day would make such a difference but it has in a huge way. I’m not just finding out how big my brave is, I’m building my brave- moment by moment, day by day. Doing it with three amazingly beautifully brave friends sweetens the experience. #LoveYourSelfie #HowBigIsYourBrave2015”. So as the remaining 10 days of selfies went by, life happened. My confidence became stronger. So much so that when I got a notice from the apartment property management that they were raising my rent, AGAIN, when my lease was up July 1st, I’d had enough. They’d been doing this nearly every year for the last 6 or 7 years and I’d been having a growing resentment against them and myself for caving in every year and paying the higher rent. Well this year I said no on May 28th and with the help of a dear friend (who was also doing the selfie challenge) I found a better, bigger apartment for $100 less only 5 blocks away. After living in an apartment complex for 14 years I was brave and confident enough to find a better deal!

Somewhere along the way a friend recommended I start a blog about my life experiences working through my fears to accomplish some other newly declared life goals and decisions. I had another name in mind for this blog but that domain name was taken and so Build Your Own Brave, #BYOB just came to me!!!